Equity

I am hungry and probably verging on anger. This cold sore is keeping it from erupting. Dinner looks set in less than an hour but the depletion of natural resources have left my feelings dry and high. High on a series of incredible jabs.

The initial ecstacy of creaming the label was short lived - the avalanche of things to come - a rude knock from a well with a ominous source and the trickle of water that is not enough to fill the cup of my hands.

All I know now is the attempt to drown out the stories my neighbours are telling in jest to claw his way to some silly girl's heart. Language and their syntax have a way of inteferring with my system.

The smell is inviting, even though this is the last thing I will do to put it into my body. Times like these, other forms of cravings and sin become very very attractive. They take me past this world for the hours I spend indulging. They forget for me the pain that drugs don't do. They are reliable, predictable and full of fascination.

But even sin requires a pricey form of transaction. You give me what I want in exchange for a sacrifice of flesh. One pound, sir? No more, no less.

So, now, dear, my love, my dream chaser, my chariot champion, why this downcast sky and trodden field I now behold. How this promise do you hold to call it truth or do I now curse it as truce? Forgive me, my champ, when you sweep my off my feet, I will try to not sink knee deep in this swamp of a thing you abhor. Keep the pall bearer far, beyond the sunshine and the glow, and prolong life till they see you before they meet you on the other side. Save me from me but save them for my sake, if there was only one shot you could take.

Love me not to set me up. Faith, my illusive eyes escape me now your love light, lower your staff and fight for me my adversities till break of light. Wrap this lie for me, because I fukin need to fish.

cjt