How do you do it?

It's becoming clearer. Like tonight when I ducked out for a bit of cynical indulgence. Meeting a fresh new approach. What can feel so right can sometimes be so wrong. Yet that song playing in the background was reminiscing of the bad rap of the end last autumn. So romantic, yet still so distant. This time round. Ah yes, the sound of breaking up.

It was like a goodbye. A good morning welcome to your new set. New TV set. I closed my eyes through the whole episode, just enjoying the ride, the tenderness, the kinship of sorts, the smell of rain on the shoulders of another. Yet I sobbed inside, my vision blurred amid the low light of the evening. It's a shame, really. Set your tears just like mine, we'll make them sterile.

Sarah & E-Gene married, gone, flown departed from this house. Shawn bemoaned the loss. I, didn't know how to deal with the empty house drowned myself in some drugs to forget the forgotten chores. Rolling on, we all have to move on. Dynamics changed so much and I am left with the stone cold bread I bought for them last year. Somehow I have to and am learning to fall in love with the now one entity. Sazegee. I dropped them off at the airport, soaked in some kind of family bliss, distracted by the moments of now and missed the departing episode. So I said goodbye with my chocolate cake and lukewarm latte.

Found a needle in the headbang and freaked on a leash. Sometimes it's still too hard to confront.