Grace

I can only be thankful at this stage. There's been a pattern with these intensities. So much crowd within a tiny space that makes it hard to believe and comprehend. So much goes through the needle head and come out different on the other side. The shock I am still recovering from, taking small steps, one at a time, overlooking the edge.

Makes me remember when I first started putting myself out there - for the adventure to live on the edge of life. I am reminded of the picture in my journal - the edge of life. Postcard from the edge of hope - the title of that vision I had in my mind now rings so real in this post-mortem of events culminating one after the other like neat waves carving out tidy dunes on the sand.

This is living in the answer to my prayers. My desire to be a person of faith. This faith journey is still a journey of faith. I have taken many with me and many have crossed with me difficult dark times. There will be more to come. But with each failure, each fall comes a stronger perspective and a deeper inner strength to believe even though it seems man failed. My fall was necessary - even falling from grace - God, I'm beginning to understand, is big enough to allow for that. Which is why He allowed Eve to be tempted in the first place, knowing fully that she will give in. So many years later, the fall of man is still replayed like wipers on the windscreen. The magnitude is something that evades me.

So it is, that I may regress for a while. To meet some folks, bring my love and catch up with those whose faces are beginning to fade from my consciousness. To walk among the familiar, to bring a breath of freshness into the room of loud overworked machines. To retreat from the darkening skies and lie among the sunkissed flowers. Who knows what that will do? I can only follow the leading slight of hand and trust like the faith I was told I had.

This city is getting more beautiful each passing moment...